Real talk story for all of you.
Yesterday, not even sure of what triggered it, I got a huge craving to order some food. I think the busyness of the Halloween weekend put me in the mood to just stay put yesterday and some comfort food seemed in order. I knew deep down this was not a good idea- my digestive system has been off a little lately, I’ve been eating at restaurants a lot as-is, and quite frankly, I don’t even like the term “comfort food” because I associate it with some sort of weakness to be turning to anything outside of myself for comfort. But see? That’s exactly where the problem is. The fact that somewhere deep within me, I believe it’s “bad” to not be able to make myself feel better. Do we ever even stop to recognize how much pressure we all put on ourselves these days? I’m great at delegating work, I’m great at saying no to plans, I’m great at setting boundaries with my time, and yet still, somewhere in me is this need to figure it all out… to get it all right… and to do it now. I know I’m capable of whatever I set my mind to and yet when I see something I can improve or make better, I want to make that happen immediately. I do not consider myself a perfectionist- I think I’m pretty good at discerning what tasks need to be done with excellence and when it’s better to settle for “good enough”. But when it comes to my own internal state, I passionately seek improvement. And for as much as I feel I have a good perspective when it comes to work and the limits I put on it, there is still always a pressure I put on myself to accomplish the huge amount of things that are hanging over my head (I am definitely guilty sometimes of the “once I get that done, then I’ll be happy” mentality).
Anyways, how does this relate to food? I think we are ALL plagued by the pressures and demands on our time and energy (often self-inflicted). Even if I’ve gotten better at saying no to things or letting things go that just aren’t as important, it can still be exhausting to make those decisions all day long. I never *like* saying no to plans with a friend I care about, I don’t *like* having to throw in the towel about organizing the files on my old laptop even though they just aren’t that important anymore, and I don’t *like* putting extra work on someone else even if I truly can’t handle it all. In this modern age of go-go-go or say no-no-no, there is not a whole lot of emotional energy left by the end of the day to put towards the habit change we are trying to make. We’ve all done it- how many times have we said, “I’ve got to work on my eating habits,” “I’ve got to stop spending so much money,” “I need to get back in my exercise routine,” “or my old college favorite: “I’m never drinking again.” Haha. There’s plenty of things that we do because it feels good in the moment but doesn’t feel so great after. Sometimes it’s just a matter of recognizing the benefits we DO get out of it. For example, I eat at restaurants a LOT but I appreciate the social aspect of seeing friends regularly and taking advantage of all the cool new stuff this city has to offer. Sometimes, I recognize that I need to throttle it back, and I do. Sometimes it’s a matter of taking a step back and SEEING the bigger picture- where am I feeling tapped-out? And what can I do right now to begin to make that better?
World pressure:
For as much as I talk about the demands the world puts on us, I certainly don’t think it’s helpful to go into a victim mentality of feeling like it’s us against the world. It’s also the same world that offers us a limitless amount of incredible opportunities, wonderful people and connections, and beauty all around. It’s not the world’s fault- the world is just offering up a variety of stuff saying, “here you go! take it or leave it!” It is our job to remember that we have a choice of how we process, react to, and incorporate these constant stimuli. Not all of these pressures, or even the things we consider to be urgent and important, are truly life-or-death matters. Sometimes even recognizing that helps to take the pressure off and allow us to APPRECIATE all that we GET to do each day. I’m a huge fan of having a regular gratitude practice. I put links to several youtube videos I made at the bottom of this blog- feel free to watch if you’d like to know more about my own story and how I apply gratitude to each area of my life (including work, workouts, and the tough emotional stuff in life)!
Self pressure and limiting beliefs:
I think another reason it can be so disappointing when we feel like we’ve “fallen backwards” is the MEANING we bring to it. Think about it. Would splurging on a junk food meal be so guilt-inducing if we KNEW we would never do it again? Of course not! But instead, we tell ourselves things like, “I’ll never overcome this pattern,” “Why do I always do this to myself?” “I just can’t stop.” And we use it to reinforce every limiting belief that it will ALWAYS be this way, we will always carry the extra weight, be in debt, succumb to addictions, or whatever it is that we’re dealing with. “Always” is a harsh word. Sure, I still have patterns that I fall into and I still get disappointed when I do, but I have made a HUGE amount of progress in the last couple years. My whole outlook on life has become radically more aware. I feel more alive than ever. I do have a ton of healthy habits in place. And I seek improvement (mostly) from a place of self-love as opposed to shame, guilt, or self-hate (I wrote up some strategies about the emotional side of that here http://katelynlesk.blogspot.com/2015/09/love-yourself-to-where-you-want-to-be.html). We ARE making progress. It’s just in those moments when we’ve taken a step back that the sneaky fear voice is the loudest. Shut that sucker up and move on! (more on how to do that: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Seg1IcDr9M).
How to deal with it all:
If I have one mission in life, it’s to help each person I work with see where their fears, stresses, pressures, doubts, and blocks are and to slowly but surely replace those with love. This is something I am CONSTANTLY working on with myself as well. It all starts with awareness and then perspective.
It’s important to remember we are exactly where we need to be. Every choice we made, we needed. We know this simply because we made them. We may know better now, but then, we needed it for a reason. Even seemingly “bad” choices are for our greater good. They are beacons to point out certain things in life. Discovering what we don’t want sends a rocket of desire to that which we DO want and motivates us to work towards it. It illuminates the path. Yes, my Thai food is illuminating the path to enlightenment 🙂 Don’t you wish you would have gotten take-out now too? 😉So for today I will eat my leftovers guilt-free (from Smiling Banana Leaf, by the way- if I was going to order Thai, at least I did it right) and use it as an opportunity to take a step back and see where I’m putting too much pressure on myself, where I am taking life too seriously, and where I can take back some of my power and rediscover my inner goddess 🙂 And if I can help someone else discover their inner power along the way, then it was definitely worth the mild heartburn and stomach fullness 🙂
Don’t forget to remind yourself of your AWESOMENESS regardless of ANYTHING else!!!!!! I love you and I’m rooting for you!!!!
Gratitude, staying present, and first world problems
Gratitude for the tough stuff
Gratitude as it relates to work, why I don’t treat my business like a business, also workouts
Doing things out of inspiration versus obligation, what to do when you get discouraged